2017 has been a rough, discordant year and I’m sorry to say 2018’s not going to be any better. We’re in for a bizarre twelve months ahead, with some things good, some things bad, and some things strange. I’ve seen it through means I can’t disclose, but I feel the public deserves to know at least some of what they’re in store for. So here I’m revealing the biggest news stories of each month of 2018! Prepare yourselves, look on the bright side, and try to act surprised: January: After Kim Jong-Un demands construction of more nuclear missiles bigger and longer than Americas’, he is crushed when a thirteen foot juggernaut falls on top of him during a demonstration. February: The Hollywood Sex Abuse Scandal awkwardly hangs over the Academy Awards as every woman presenter and nominee comes armed with a taser in their bra. March: Humanity breathes a sigh of relief as Twitter is put out of commission. U.S. President Donald Trump throws a brief tantrum before his handler introduces
Criticism, Essays, and Ramblings from Another Online Film Critic. Support me on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/JordanBosch, follow me @Jordan_D_Bosch on Twitter and at Jordan Bosch on Letterboxd