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Good Luck to You, Leo Grande Presents a Radical Discussion of Sex and Age


There was a time when the idea of older people craving and enjoying sex, in movies and in general pop culture, was deemed gross -a subject so taboo it could only ever be used for the purposes of ridicule. Sex is the domain of the young is the implication, and that once you reach a certain age it’s just not in the cards anymore. Movies like Good Luck to You, Leo Grande aspire to dispel that notion, for culture as a whole but more specifically for those of a certain age who have bought into that assumption that they are no longer desirable, that their lusts and sexual curiosities must go unfulfilled. That is how Nancy Stokes (Emma Thompson) feels at the start of this movie. Over its’ course she’ll discover that that it isn’t the case, and her particular journey out of repression, with both its’ physical and psychological effects, is a rare thing to see in a movie.
The film is directed by Sophie Hyde from a script by comedian Katy Brand; and it’s mostly set within a single hotel room across four isolated encounters between 63-year old Nancy and 20-something sex worker Leo Grande (Daryl McCormack). She is a retired schoolteacher and a widow who is frustrated and depressed by her sexually repressed life -she has never even experienced an orgasm. Yet even as she hires Leo she can’t fully reconcile her carnal needs with her anxieties around her body image and age insecurities. So the two talk a lot openly, about sex, relationships, their families -Leo becoming a kind of sexual counsellor for Nancy to better come to terms with the validity of her urges. In turn, she finds her own preconceptions towards him breaking down as well -the two seeing each other honestly, humanely.
There is nothing at all romantic about this, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande isn’t a Harold and Maude or Ali, Fear Eats the Soul kind of movie. Sex for Nancy and Leo is about healthy pleasure, and opening oneself up to it. It’s something of a radical movie for this, its’ approach to sex and candid discussion of it giving off the impression of a twenty-first century Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. Brand’s script emphasizes each point-of-view and takes them seriously right from the start. Leo is introduced without a hint of cliché, an ordinary young man in a café receiving a text about his next job. All throughout, sex work is understood to be a job, and Leo is very good at it -not for any superficial reasons such as general horniness or stamina or size, but because he is charismatic, comforting, conscientious of boundaries and receptive to emotions. That last is particularly important where it concerns Nancy, a bundle of nerves when he first shows up at her hotel room. Multiple times during their first meeting she gets close and backs away, or offers to pay him for his services without actually going through with sex.
Hyde and Brand and Thompson and McCormack strike a perfect humour in this, one derived by the circumstances but not targeting them. There is something of a sad undercurrent there, self-deprecation (a British staple) masking honest insecurity. But the attitude towards it all is grounded and charming. And Thompson of course is so naturally funny she seamlessly dispels the tension -a defence mechanism for Nancy perhaps. As her flustered attitude gradually gives way to repartee and the awkwardness melts away, the intimacy becomes so much less unusual -Nancy and Leo are framed as equals exploring her pent-up desires together.
Their chemistry is exceptional throughout this, the relationship measured and believable as it grows more comfortable, more liberating. Thompson remains one of the most effortlessly magnetic performers, each choice and emotion so strong, each suggestion brimming with organic depth. The shame, regret, and sadness that haunts her permeates the frame, emanating with purity beneath her facades. And in her moments of jubilation it is felt tenfold, such as when she dances with Leo, uncertain at first, but soon getting into the swing of things –and when she flashes that irresistible Emma Thompson smile it is the most heartening thing in the world. There is a streak of something personal that Thompson is clearly drawing on –she like so many women her age is unused to feeling perceived and perceiving herself in turn as a sexual being. She understands this character thoroughly and it makes for a more authentic, more inspiring portrait.
And Nancy is a pretty authentic, complex woman, in mentality as well as desire –one who harbours secret disappointment with the lives of her children, regret for her old-fashioned marriage, and longs for the ecstasy of the one time she got close to a real sexual thrill on a vacation to Greece. We learn also that, as a Religious Studies teacher, she was quite strict and judgmental –well-induced tendencies she has a hard time breaking from in her assumptions of Leo, the kind of life he must lead, and his motivations. At one point she accuses him of recommending additional sessions just to get paid more. Most of it, he admirably takes in stride, revealing sides of his own personal life –how his mother and brother believe he works on an oil rig for example. But he isn’t all good humour and empathetic sex therapist positivity. McCormack is a worthy scene partner for Thompson through all their tête a têtes, but it’s when a certain line is crossed and Leo is forced to open up more deeply himself that the younger actor really comes into his own.
Credit to Brand though, the dialogue is riveting. And the pacing is great as well, the story never feels to be dragging, each breakthrough hitting with vigor at just the right time. Ultimately it’s an incredibly sweet experience both for the characters involved and for the viewers watching –it challenges ones’ own preconceptions about sex and age in a receptive, welcoming way. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande gained notoriety at Sundance for the fact it features a full-frontal nude scene from Thompson –which really illustrates why what this movie is saying is important. Yes, it is bold and an essential final beat of the movie, but the attention given to it as a scandalous, brave, headline-making choice is another testament to a somewhat prudish attitude towards bodies of a certain age, specifically womens’ bodies of a certain age. When the moment comes it is triumphant –precisely because it isn’t revealing. It’s an acceptance and a contentment with who she is, self-consciously and sexually. Would that we all could see ourselves that way.

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