The quickest cure to transphobia is knowing a trans person. It’s a conventional idea but it’s not an untrue one. Even for those who may not be transphobic but don’t really understand the transgender experience or transgender issues, just talking openly and honestly with someone of that identity can make a whole lot of difference. Especially considering all of the propaganda and misinformation and hate that is routinely promoted about the trans community, it’s so important that those empathetic human connections are made. Will & Harper is a documentary about making that connection; and one that hopes to vicariously be that point of understanding for its audience.
It is essentially in documentary form a Driving Miss Daisy or Green Book kind of movie, in that it’s less for an LGBTQ audience than for the cis straight folks as a crash course in how to be an ally to the transgender people in their lives. Unlike those kind of movies though it is both relevant in this time of increased marginalization and bigotry, and genuine in that its dumb cis guy authentically cares a lot about learning from his trans friend, both as a loving friend and in a desire to grow.
That guy in this movie just happens to be Will Ferrell, and his friend is Harper Steele, a former writer for Saturday Night Live from 1995 to 2008 (she also wrote Eurovision Song Contest with Ferrell). The two had started at SNL about the same time and immediately developed a rapport and friendship that lasted for twenty-seven years. In 2022, Harper came out as transgender, and as Will endeavoured to come to terms with this change in his friend and figure out how to be supportive of her, an idea came that the two of them should do a cross-country road trip together -something Harper loved to do but worried now she wouldn't be welcome in some of the kinds of places she'd travelled to in the past. As a pair, Will could have Harper's back, diffuse tensions via his star status, while having the opportunity to reconnect and learn about the transgender experience.
A fundamental aspect of this film is that the process of Will's education is done entirely in a space of safety and comfort for Harper. The pair aren't always in actual safe spaces, but their dialogue is based in a place of decades of love and trust. Harper states early on that because she knows Will is a friend and that his intentions are good, no question or topic is off limits, and it results in some very healthy in-depth talks. Will will make the occasional joke, but will never push back, never argue, never question a choice or feeling of Harper's. And it's palpable how much that means to her. While I’m not so cynical as to think it’s an intended performance on his part, it is framed by director Josh Greenbaum to showcase the right way to broach these subjects with earnestness instead of judgement, with a desire to dispel the misconceptions of an anti-trans political and media sphere for what an individual’s lived experience is.
And the movie even shows how for every person, it’s different. For Harper, a lot of the details of her journey are related to her age (she transitioned in her early 60s) and her particular history. She has two young adult children who still refer to her as ‘dad’ (her choice) as well as numerous relationships both personal and professional dating back decades. A scene at the start of their trip in New York sees them dining with SNL veterans Tim Meadows, Tina Fey, and Seth Meyers, and at various points along the journey they connect with the likes of Will Forte and Molly Shannon (Kristen Wiig is called up to write them a song, which is lovely). It shows the extent of her world and a breadth of acceptance, but also how long she waited to come out as her true self.
It's a really heart-warming story of friendship, as we watch Will learn in real time how best to sympathize with and relate to Harper -but not everything has changed. They still feed off each other's rhythms of humour -Will showing just how much like some of his characters he really is as he repeatedly demands the most mundane of excursions to Dunkin' Donuts to Harper's feigned irritation. The most poignant moments though are at every place that Will uses his celebrity for Harper's benefit: someone will recognize him and he will immediately introduce Harper and explain very casually the purpose of their trip, which we see lowers the guard of some people and makes those even in deep 'red' territory, like a bar in rural Oklahoma, open and curious.
But both are aware that he is a buffer. What at first seems to be good time at a gaudy steakhouse in Amarillo, Texas quickly turns uncomfortable as Harper can feel the judgement of the crowd in the room that even Will's Sherlock Holmes get-up cannot diffuse. And in the days and weeks following, Harper takes note of the barrage of hate and transphobia that pours in on social media. Elsewhere in the movie, while at a Pacers game in Indianapolis, Will is introduced to (and introduces Harper to) state governor Eric Holcomb -it's only after the photo op that they learn he has pushed aggressive anti-trans legislation in the state.
These encounters are awkward and retroactively unpleasant, but once in a while something authentic and tender occurs. At the Grand Canyon, Harper again makes conversation with people, including a therapist who recounts her story of counselling a trans patient away from gender affirmation and feels deep regret over it. For her, talking to Harper is a form of therapy for herself.
Harper visits her childhood home in Iowa and rides a unicycle, she goes to Las Vegas and gets dressed up nice for a fancy dinner (Will goes as a character), she sits on a folding chair in a Wal-Mart parking lot and in the Mojave desert, and she visits the decrepit home in a country town she bought a few years back as an escape but is now too debilitated and too painful for her to hold onto. At every turn, through humour and emotion, Will is a steadfast companion, the trip opening him up to earnestness and vulnerability in his own right. He identifies with certain aspects of Harper's journey -things from childhood, feelings over their names, and of course ageing. But for them both a principal theme runs through the film that it's never too late. It's never too late to live as your true self. It's never too late to learn and adjust your preconceptions -that one of course for the audience as much as Will.
I'm not the target demographic of Will & Harper. It's clearly meant for people who might not otherwise consider a "trans story", for them to learn about the experience and what it means to be empathetic. Nonetheless, there’s an aspect of the movie that is personal to me. Coming from a fairly conservative Christian family I worry sometimes who I might have developed into had I not found friends in high school who were queer. In that company I came to really understand and empathize with them, and even understand myself a bit more and what my values were. I’ve gone on the journey Will Ferrell does here and come out a better person. Years from now, Will & Harper will hopefully look quaint -the way we might look at the racial themes of To Kill a Mockingbird today (a book that played a part in Harper's choice of name). Right now though it serves a crucial purpose, when more than ever we need to see the value in this kind of friendship, outreach, and love.
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