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A Sensitive, Intriguing Idea

I think The Idea of You manages to bypass the usual toxic age-discrepancy discourse by the simple fact that Anne Hathaway does not look her age. Or if she does, she certainly dispels any notion that 40 cannot still be young and sexy. In a sense it works a little against the perceived message of the film -this is not Ali: Fear Eats the Soul levels of social convention-challenging; and yet for 2024 it sort of is, which is how the movie manages to get away with its theme. There has been a lot said about age gaps in relationships in recent years, about power dynamics and control, and aspects of it have certainly been pertinent. It’s not hard to look suspiciously on particularly male celebrities who have much younger wives or girlfriends -the Leonardo DiCaprio joke always coming around. But it has also seriously been overblown to the level of criticism directed at relatively harmless celebrity age gaps of just a few years or the outright infantilization of young women in the industry. In any case it is a more nuanced topic than social media and celebrity gossip allow of it. And it’s directly into this context that The Idea of You is thrown.
Hathaway plays Solène Marchand, a forty year-old divorced California mum and owner of an art gallery (a signature rom-com type occupation), who takes her daughter and friends to Coachella to see their favourite boy band August Moon. Prior to the performance she awkwardly runs into one of the band members Hayes Campbell (Nicholas Galitzine), where a spark is set off. He finds an excuse to come to her art gallery, the two get to know each other a little more, and soon she secretly joins him on his world tour -in spite of both the trauma of her last major relationship and self-consciousness over their fourteen year age gap.
In structure, the film is very representative of its genre format. It is co-written and directed by Michael Showalter, who has considerable experience with rom-coms (he directed one of the best of the 2010s), and even with the specific subject of an age differential attraction, explored previously in 2015’s Hello, My Name is Doris. Here though it goes both ways and is taken very seriously. And there is a lot of sensitivity around it. Of course there are jokes cracked about the different styles and reference points between their generations, but it is underlined by what we’re prompted to see as a legitimate barrier with serious social consequences. Much of it comes from Solène, whose rationales against pursuing such an affair are fair -especially in light of Hayes being an idol of several of her daughters' friends. But the movie also goes to pains to emphasize the feelings underlining the prospect for both of them are real and valid.
While the script does an occasional disservice to their commonalities or any shared interests (Hayes's artistic curiosity is blatantly a front to get closer to Solène), the chemistry between Hathaway and Galitzine is very strong. The rhythm of their conversations feels genuine and their sexual charisma is magnetic. There is an honest pathos to the romance, which Showalter illustrates in evolution through lush compositions and close-ups, a sense of soulful eroticism, and mood-inducing music courtesy of Savan Kotecha. In this pairing, Galitzine establishes himself and his charisma well enough, but it is more significantly a re-establishing and assertion of Hathaway's star. Hathaway, who got her start in teen movies and has spent much of her career in the shadow of that reputation, has in the past few years finally been positioned as a respectable veteran in the industry. There is a power she asserts here, a really confident sense of her own faculties, and her performance charm has undeniably matured. She has earned the gravity she brings to this movie, the earnestness with which this character is conveyed. Even as the backstory and plot points border on common tropes, she carries them through handily. And honestly makes the argument well, with unconscious ease, that someone a little over half her age would fall for her.
The movie does play in some of the usual tired sandboxes though. Solène’s ex-husband played by Reid Scott (who left her for a much younger woman adding another layer to her mixed feelings on the affair with Hayes) is the asshole antagonist you find in a million rom-coms deftly opposed to the main relationship, who ultimately gets a comeuppance of sorts. There’s also an adherence to the interminable rom-com plot point of the second act break-up guaranteed not to last. It’s not some kind of misunderstanding at least -though it does cast suspicious vibes on Hayes that the movie never actually reckons with afterwards. But it is still bad and completely unmotivated by anything other than a minor plot requirement.
The resolution of this beat is not the end of the movie though, Showalter powering through those clichés to get to the more interesting, complicated part of the story -the publicity of their relationship and its effects. Obviously it’s easy to compare this movie to something like Notting Hill, which was also about the romance between an average person and a celebrity, as well as the oppressive weight of celebrity. And while The Idea of You can’t match the claustrophobia of an army of photographers surrounding a tiny London flat, it does translate really well the toll in an age of social media, and actually touches on the ins and outs of the stress of a public relationship -especially one with that sensational age gap. It aptly corners that discourse both online and off, the stress and judgement that is put on Solène as a result, and it’s impact on her family -whose own social lives are changed (the specific kind of harassment her daughter has to deal with is articulated well). Showalter and his writing partner Jennifer Westfeldt have studied very closely the real media machine with regards to such public stories, and they reveal how inescapable the circus really is for those who are in its crosshairs. They come to the conclusion that we would, bitter though it may be.
And the movie feels more mature because of it, even with its final beat changing that effect ever so slightly. The Idea of You is not a movie that tries to excuse all age gap relationships, but it does hone in on the nuance of that conversation, and addresses the double-standard around older women with younger men. It’s a sharp idea to hang a rom-com on, but more importantly the romance itself is endearing and charismatic. Galitzine gets a great showcase for himself, and Hathaway really demonstrates her laurels. The movie engages in some flat tropes and is never all that funny, but its heart and themes are interesting, making for a perfectly charming little movie.

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