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This Year to Save Yourself Tears, Go and See Something Special


The two great moments in Last Christmas occur near the beginning and the middle of the movie. They are respectively the appearance of Patti LuPone in the garish Christmas shop that forms one of the films’ major settings and Blackadder’s Christmas Carol playing on T.V. while Emma Thompson sleeps on the couch. These have nothing to do with the actual plot of Last Christmas, but that’s part of why I love them. Delightful surprises that remind me of things I like are a rarity in this film.
Last Christmas is a movie that does no favours to those who would defend the subgenre of holiday rom-coms as more than glorified cable movie tripe. It’s not easy I’ll grant, given the bad heavily outweighs the good as far as these are concerned, but there are enough heartwarming Christmas rom-coms like Love, Actually and The Holiday, to as far back as The Shop Around the Corner, The Bishop’s Wife, and even Christmas in Connecticut, to prove the genre has legs. Last Christmas trips over its’ own, but rather than fall outright, it clumsily stumbles over itself, occasionally finding footing again, trying to look dignified, but inevitably flailing in the attempt. It’s a bad movie borne out of an incredibly stupid idea, but it’s so brazenly confident in that idea you can’t help but strangely admire it a little, transfixed by its choices.
It’s directed by Paul Feig in a regrettable departure after last years’ A Simple Favor indicated he was spreading his wings. More depressingly, it’s written by Emma Thompson (with Bryony Kimmings from a story by Thompson and Greg Wise), who apart from her outstanding acting career has written the likes of Sense and Sensibility (rightfully earning her an Oscar), Wit, and Nanny McPhee. However this movie, inspired by the George Michael song of the same name (achingly so as we come to learn) hasn’t any of the cleverness or charm of any of those works –rather it’s written like the kind of 80s sitcom Thompson used to guest star on before her movie career hit. That’s not to say those shows were badly written (The Young Ones and Cheers in fact were quite clever and funny, not to mention the various television projects Thompson herself wrote during this period), but the stylings, humour, and conventions of the format do not aptly translate to film, and certainly not a film in 2019. And so you have things like a comically tense but ultimately friendly employee-boss relationship, a mischievous assortment of characters at a homeless shelter, and an array of disparate types of jokes that against each other confuse the tone of the film (everything from legitimately clever wit to hit-or-miss cutaways to lazy poop gags).
Amidst this the film is trying to be something sentimental; but where its’ attempts aren’t clichéd, they’re neutered. Because of a plot twist fairly easy to spot from about the fifteen minute mark, the romance between the cynical and careless homeless shop worker Kate (Emilia Clarke) and the suave and mysterious Tom (Henry Golding) which drives much of the story and character growth, has to be chaste and restrained. The actors have decent chemistry but it doesn’t do them much good with how spotty the relationship is written. Similarly with the conventional motifs of family togetherness and helping the less fortunate, thematic holiday staples going as far back as Dickens, the film isn’t allowed to explore them in meaningful ways. For example, homelessness is a crisis in Britain, and this film had the opportunity to dig into it, confront the repercussions of Austerity, the failures of the welfare system and its effects on the ill and disabled, address the rise in depression brought on by the current government; but instead decided to ignore such things in favour of a simplistic portrait of poverty and homelessness as ineffectual and vacuous as the happy-go-lucky vagrancy of Oliver!
And it all has the cheesiness and relative staleness of a cheap holiday romance from Hallmark, Lifetime, or Netflix. There’s virtually none of the sharpness with which Feig characterized his prior comedies –though it tries to find some expression through Kate, a lazy, selfish, arrogant, and flagrantly irresponsible young woman drifting from temporary home to temporary home, burning a bridge at every opportunity before learning to be a better person under Toms’ wing. But Clarke is terribly miscast in this role. For as much of an effort as she’s putting into it, she’s not suited to playing such an unlikeable character, certainly not with the script and direction she’s working under. She improves later in the film as her character does, but I can’t help thinking an actress like Karen Gillan would have been much better for this kind of part. Golding on the other hand, is just as charming and affable as in Crazy Rich Asians, more so even given his character has the selflessness and consideration of a venerable saint. His co-star of the aforementioned film, Michelle Yeoh, is also one of the brighter spots of the movie, cast extremely against type as well, but capable of working within it.
The crux of what’s wrong with Last Christmas though is in its very inception. This was a movie made with a very particular yet inexplicable roadmap dictated to an alarmingly literal degree by the song it’s named after. And once I realized that late in the film following the reveal of its second twist, every lazy device and plot beat made sense. A traumatic backstory becomes the set-up for a baffling punchline, a characters’ entire motivation is cast in a bizarre new light, the thematic goals (already insubstantial) are rendered even more conspicuously inert. And the movie is very proud of this –you get the sense Feig and Thompson and Wise think it’s clever. But unlike other movies convinced they’re much smarter than they are (Collateral Beauty, Gifted, Life Itself, Joker most recently), Last Christmas isn’t obnoxious in its delusion –it so baldly, sincerely believes in itself and the brilliance of its dumb little concept that you’re charmed just a little by its’ naiveté, and its’ dedication to such unconscionable fluff.
Affecting a Yugoslavian accent, Thompson plays Kate’s overbearing immigrant mum. She’s a stereotype, but also a metaphor for the film as a whole: awkward and misunderstanding and set in her ways, with misplaced affection, a confused romance, and an inability to handle her depression. One joke suggests she lives in a hideously bedecked house overflowing in excess gaudiness, when she actually resides in the blank canvas next door. Last Christmas is both houses.

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