Kuzco, the teenage Emperor of an Inca kingdom wants to build a new summer palace on the top of a hill that’s home to a peasant called Pacha. At the same time he’s fired his senior advisor Yzma who also happens to be a mad scientist, and as revenge she tries to poison him. However because of a mix-up, Kuzco is given an elixir that transforms him into a llama instead. While trying to dispose of him, Yzma’s henchman Kronk loses Kuzco who winds up with Pacha. So the vain and selfish Emperor needs Pacha to make it back to the palace, all while avoiding being hunted by Yzma and Kronk.
There are some really good things in The Emperor’s New Groove, but you have to go through a lot of shit to get to them. Foremost is Kuzco himself. There’s never been a more selfish asshole of a lead in a Disney movie. He’s pretty unlikeable which is the point, but I get the feeling the intent was he’d be someone the audience would come around to. Or even who they’d like despite his personality because he’s so funny. But the problem is, he’s not funny enough. He’s voiced by David Spade, an actor you either hate or tolerate. Personally, I really don’t find him funny. I’ll admit though he got a laugh out of me a couple times in this movie, but generally he wasn’t entertaining enough to make his douchebaggery justifiable. He also narrates the story for part of the film which is okay but doesn’t factor in any character development. By the time he’s telling the story he’s supposed to be feeling remorse and empathy but in his voiceover seems to be of the exact mindset he was at the beginning. This tool also has him making fourth wall breaks where he addresses the audience, the film in general, and makes adjustments ….like he’s a G-rated Deadpool.
The story once it gets going is very straightforward, you know exactly where it’s going to end up. You know the moral and the happy ending, but at least it’s set in a unique environment. Kind of, but not really. Though the conceit is it’s set in Peru (judging by the protagonists’ name) at the height of the Inca Empire, there’s no real connection to that fact in the plot. All the characters have modern sensibilities, and a lot of the technology and culture is very anachronistic. In some ways Hercules even was a better representation of its era because of all the references to Greek mythology. There’s no references here, and you could supplant these characters and this story in just about any other civilization in any other realm of history and not lose much. And though sometimes the modern sensibilities work in the humour’s favour, other times the comedy really shows its age. When Pacha’s kids are on screen they’re definitely trying to pander to a current young demographic with their attitude and dialogue. Particularly their back-and-forth in bed stands out as an old kids cliché. And speaking of dialogue, when the jokes are done, the writing is pretty poor. There are more than a couple contrivances and at one point, I’m not kidding, they literally call out their own plot hole (it’s actually kinda funny though). Kuzco’s character growth never feels believable even when it’s supposed to be genuine. I think this is because not only is he such an extreme kind of jerk who’s established from the start, but he fakes out Pacha a couple times, so you don’t buy it when he really is supposed to be changed. There are moments in this movie when, being Disney, they try to be sentimental, but it’s too much a shift in tone. Every time the soft music comes up and it holds on a character I expect the film to pull the rug out with another joke. If Disney’s trying to have it both ways, equal parts comedy and drama, this far-fetched style is too eccentric to pull it off.
But what does this movie do right? Well John Goodman’s likeable enough as Pacha, even if his scenes are all shared with such an irritating partner. Their relationship is fine, again except when it tries to be heartfelt, but Pacha’s just not that interesting. He makes the scenes with Kuzco bearable but as the other half of this film’s integral double act, he could have been much more interesting. His wife is voiced by Wendie Malick who’s good, but deserved to be in a better Disney movie. Tom Jones comes out of nowhere as Kuzco’s personal singer, as does John Fiedler -the voice of Piglet -as an old man Kuzco has thrown out a window (yeah, not good when there’s a fine line between your “hero” and Longshanks from Braveheart). The animation though is pretty fast-paced, which is really good for the comedy, the high-energy slapstick at times feels like something out of Looney Tunes. Indeed, the film is at its strongest when it’s really putting effort into this off-the-wall absurd brand of humour.
Which leads me to the saving grace of The Emperor’s New Groove: Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton as Yzma and Kronk! These two are fucking hilarious -every time they’re on screen they get a huge laugh! This movie really should have been about them -it was a buddy comedy, but focussed on the wrong pair. Yzma’s not that bad a villain; hell you kinda want her to be Emperor, because Kuzco was a dick and by the films’ own admission, no one really liked him. Her design is great (everyone refers to her as “scary beyond all reason”), she’s enjoyably mad, and what happens to her in the end is too funny to spoil. Kitt’s really giving her all to the character, playing up every one of her irritated reactions and fiendish glee. As for Kronk? Well he’s basically a slightly funnier David Puddy from Seinfeld. Yeah, he’s a typical idiot, but Warburton gives him such an enthusiastic naiveté you can’t help but love. And his consciences were scene-stealers too. Technically he’s an evil henchman, but he’s probably the nicest and most well-intentioned if moronic henchman I’ve ever seen. Yzma and Kronk have a ton of funny one-liners, all the best scenes, great chemistry, and are a couple of Disney’s funniest characters. Considering they’re the only parts of this movie people really remember and quote, I think if the film had shifted focus to them maybe after Kuzco got lost, and just gone balls to the wall comedy, this could have been an interesting parody of a Disney movie told from the villains’ point of view, that would’ve been a hell of a lot more funny and memorable. Although the story was predictable, a few of the detours were funny and unexpected, a number of jokes both verbal and physical hit well. I really thought the movie was strong in the couple scenes it went full-on farce, where all four major characters would be in one setting trying to avoid each other. These spurts of great comedy were terrific and reminded me why I found this movie fun as a kid.
So is The Emperor’s New Groove good? I think it depends on what you’re looking for. It is Disney doing a buddy comedy, which is a little jarring. You’re not going to find any wonder or Disney magic in it, only a standard to boring story, basic visuals, and nothing ground-breaking or challenging. And apart from an end theme called “My Funny Friend and Me” (sung by Sting) there aren’t any songs to enjoy either. But for what is, it’s not bad. There are a lot of weak elements to sift through but you do get some very good laughs particularly out of Yzma and Kronk who really make this movie. It’s definitely not one of the great animated comedies (or even that good in general) -it’s got nothing on the first two Shrek films or The Lego Movie -but I also can’t say it’s not entertaining or worth your time.
Next Week: Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
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