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When Canadians Lost a Free Cruz

Can you believe it? The American Presidential election is only twenty months away! TWENTY MONTHS! Politicians and pundits are going nuts in preparation of this fast approaching history-making event. And in the midst of all this a lone prophet has risen to the challenge to fight for the greatest seat the whitest house in the world. No not Hilary Clinton, her candidacy’s been an open secret for years. I’m talking about the good old government-shutting down love-child of Piers Morgan and Bob Hope: Ted Cruz! He’s rich, a Harvard alum, hates Obamacare, is not a friend of the environment, anti-gay, pro-gun, Christian, creationist, Canadian….wait what?
Yeah, turns out Ted Cruz was born in Canada. This is terrific! Can you believe directly following the first African-American President, America could have its first Canadian-American President? Great! Or it would be if he hadn’t ditched his Canadian citizenship last year the moment it was found out. Clearly he wanted to avoid the birth certificate outcry levied against Obama when a number of right-wing Americans accused him of being born in Kenya, which is of course completely absurd, as he was obviously born in Nigeria. But his disregard for this part of his identity is appalling. He was born with a Mexican heritage in Calgary, a nice little cultural Mozambique in him that he seems eager to shun. As soon as it stood in his way for running for President, he renounces his Canadian citizenship in order to appear as more of a pure-blooded American. And he plays the part very well. But even when Terry Gilliam renounced his American citizenship he didn’t go around pretending he was British (apart from that bit in Holy Grail). Ted Cruz was born to Americans so he still qualifies to run for president. Being born in Canada shouldn’t be a crutch but he seemed to think it was. Which is why Canadians on a whole were justified in reacting “well f--- you too”.
                It’s not a huge deal though. If Cruz gets the Republican nomination it’s going to be something of a birthday present to Hilary Clinton. He’s quite extreme to the right, unfortunately most of the country is not. Republicans need to select carefully if they want a chance to win and they’re smart enough to go for a more moderate choice in a candidate. But as proud Canadians observing this from afar laughing at the circus while ignoring our own, it’s a little offensive to remember he ditched our country so readily when he never had to. Sure plenty will say we don’t want him but who are we kidding, we’d accept anybody (hell we welcomed Randy Quaid!) and now he's in the running for most wanted and simultaneously least wanted position in the country, you can't help but think Ted Cruz had a chance to use his Canadian birth maybe even to his political advantage. Rather than wear it proudly as an expression of the friendship and partnership of our two nations he chose to toss it aside, delete it as you would unflattering high school pics on facebook. Speaking of which that’s something I need to get back to now. 
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